Where to Downsize?

 We are looking for a smaller place with less maintenance, and we really aren't geographically limited in terms of places to live.  

Justin was the main reason we continued to live in south-central Wisconsin.  We both have some friends in the area, but not a lot of close family.  Julia's parents have both passed. My dad passed this year, and my mother isn't necessarily committed to living long-term in Iowa, although she will probably stay there in the short term. 

Have we considered staying in Wisconsin?  Yes, we know we like Madison, and we would consider living there, if it wasn't the most expensive place to live in the state of Wisconsin.  The truth is that we could sell our house and barely afford to trade to a newer two bedroom townhouse or condo.  Add in the much higher property taxes and a monthly chunk for an HOA, and living in Madison loses much of its allure.  

On the other hand, we know Madison.  We've lived in the area for over 40 years.  It's a progressive city with great parks, festivals, bike paths, lakes, etc. If we could find the right place that we could afford, we would certainly consider it.  But we've been looking at the market for quite awhile without finding anything that tempted us.   In the meantime, we are doing our due diligence to see if there might be somewhere else in the country for our next adventure.  

What are the criteria that we are examining for our next location? A medium-sized city in a walkable neighborhood, good bike trails, access to hiking (mountains and/or desert), diversity in culture and restaurants, sustainable water supply, sunny climate, less winter, affordable housing, good health care, reasonably low crime, a blue or at least purple state, and a thriving arts/weaving community.

We've done quite a bit of research already, and the four states at the top of our list have both pros and cons. None of them meet all of our wants, but life is about compromises. The three states we will visit this fall include:  Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona.  There are four cities where we will airbnb in apartments and condos to get a better "boots on the ground" feel that can't achieved with internet/Zillow research.  

The plan is to blog about each of the cities as we experience them.

On a more immediate note, last night I won my first pickleball medal (bronze) at the second annual Baird's CAPA Cup.   It was my partner's first tournament, and we played at the 4.0 level (men over 50).  I felt like we both underachieved, losing badly in two out of three games at the start.  In the next three games, we were often behind but kept battling, winning each game to qualify for the bronze medal round.  Then we won decisively in the medal round.  It was a lesson to never give up--no matter how badly things are going.

 

Sweaty John

August Update

It's a rainy, cool day in southern Wisconsin, but we won't complain as most of the rest of the nation goes through a summer heat wave.  

This month was marked by our 36th Anniversary.  Julia and I celebrated by going out to dinner at a small Italian restaurant bar a few blocks away from the State Capital. 

This has been a summer of projects in order to get the house ready to sell next spring.  We've been staining, patching, and painting. A couple of bigger projects involve hiring contractors to replace some storm windows and doors that have reached their expiration dates. 

In the fall, we will pack up the car and visit four different places to relocate/downsize in the West.  We've visited these places as tourists in the past, but we will be doing a deeper dive this time, trying to visualize what it would be like to live there.  If none of those places feel like home, we have back-up plans, one of which includes downsizing here in Wisconsin.  But we are in agreement that, if we're going to do a big move, this is the time in our lives to do so.  

Otherwise, we have settled into the Wisconsin summer.  We are both playing lots of pickleball.  I have a big tournament tomorrow.  The Madison area has lots of free music in the summer, and we've been getting out for that while the weather is good. 

Sidi Wacho at Sessions

Allie has been working very hard, as things are tense in the advertising industry with many layoffs.  She did find time for a trip to Mallorca, Spain for vacation and then remote work in Aspen for a week.  She paid for travel, but her accommodations were free with an invite from friends whose families had luxurious lodgings in those nice places.  There are pros and cons to the fast-paced corporate world in San Francisco.  

My mother has been moving forward with life after my Dad's passing.  She is selling a second condo they owned after first offering it to us.  My mother has a network of friends there, but I don't otherwise see the appeal of living in the middle of Iowa.  My mom has a valid passport, and we've offered to go with her to Scotland, a place that she is interested in.  Nothing planned yet, however.  

Callie says she is bored, and is ready for travel. 

 

What Callie wants, she usually gets.  We're Scamping next week along the Mississippi River.  

Earth Rider Brewery

Every once in awhile, Julia and I come across a brewery that truly rises head and shoulders above the crowd. Earth Rider in Superior, Wisconsin is special in all of the ways that matter to us. 

Earth Rider logo

Located amongst a dense population of working class bars on the western edge of Superior, Wisconsin, Earth Rider’s taphouse is in an old brick building. The inside is a bit dark. There is no food to speak of here. Earth Rider is where you go if you want to drink really good beer in just about every beer style that we like.

I started with their 2018 World Beer Cup bronze medal winner in the oatmeal stout category, North Tower Stout, while Julia enjoyed their hazy IPA.

After sampling the Raspbecrush Tart, I then opted for a perfectly-styled Vienna Lager, which was dispensed side-pull, something the server described as a method to bring out a more creamy head. 

We adjourned to the outdoor beer garden, which had a mural that I loved.

For dinner, we went a couple of blocks down the street to the Anchor Bar with prices from yesterday. Huge, well-prepared burgers were $6.50. It was Monday Philosophy night with $3 pitchers of Grain Belt Beer. With an hour drive ahead, I went with a Diet Pepsi.

On the Road Again

My father’s Celebration of Life took place last Saturday in an African-American Church that he attended from time to time in his childhood home of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. My dad loved traditional gospel music, and he would have loved the musical performance. 

After we made it home to Wisconsin, we packed up a few days later, hitched up the Scamp, and drove north. 

Tonight, we are driveway camping at Julia’s brother’s cabin on Long Lake, which is near Gleason, Wisconsin. It’s a small place, started by Scott himself and then finished by his friends and family after Scott had a brain aneurysm at age 30. Scott nearly died after that incident and lost the use of his dominant right hand. This year Scott celebrated a life equally as long after his aneurysm as before. 

We grilled brats for dinner, served alongside baked beans and a salad. Scott and his friend Rick went fishing for crappies after dinner; Julia went along for the ride. I’m enjoying the view of the lake from the cabin’s spacious deck with Callie literally laying on my feet to keep track of my movements. 

Julia, Scott and Rick

We will stay here through the holiday weekend and then continue further north. We aren’t sure where we will stop next but have a couple of ideas in mind.

Busy Celebrating

I am between Celebrations of Life:  Justin's and my Dad's.

More than 125 people came over the course of two hours to a local park shelter for Justin's celebration.  I'm not terribly comfortable being one of the focal people at large gatherings, so the whole thing was a blur to me.  Julia and her pickleball friends organized it. We ran out of beds and couches at our house.  Julia and I slept in the Scamp.

A soul food catering place from Madison brought in Justin's favorite foods: fried chicken, ribs, macaroni and cheese, and cornbread muffins.  A large assortment of Justin's Asian snacks was also put out for people to try.  The dried seafood was tried by many but liked by few.

Many tears were shed, but it was also a time for shared memories and laughs.  I'm finally sleeping better after almost six months of broken sleep patterns.

We gave away most of Justin's furnishings and valuable personal possessions.  One of those included the wheelchair van, which we planned to donate to someone in a need of a vehicle at Justin's church.  

Unfortunately, two days after the man (my age) received the vehicle and before he could get the title changed, he died after suffering a stroke.  It's just been that kind of year.  His surviving brothers and sister want the van to go to the church, and that's the tentative plan for now.  

My Dad's Celebration of Life will take place this Saturday in Iowa.  I expect a much smaller gathering as my Dad outlived most of his friends and family.  After that, I think Julia and I will head up north in the Scamp.  

And The Other Shoe Drops

 

Muscatine, Iowa is an old river town along the Mississippi, settled by white folks in 1837.  Iowa State University operated an experimental farm here, and the area is widely known for producing some of the most delicious watermelons and cantaloupes in the country.

Last Sunday afternoon, towards the end of my stay at Shady Creek COE (just north of Muscatine), I received a text from my mother, indicating that my father's three month journey in hospice was close to the end.  I hitched up on Monday morning and towed the Scamp ninety minutes to a county park campground on the eastern edge of Cedar Rapids, Iowa.  

Indeed, my dad was no longer responsive, and the hospice nurse told us that he could pass away at any time.  We sat with him for the rest of the morning before taking a break for lunch.  I then returned to the Scamp to let Callie out for a short walk.  During that time period, Mom went back to my Dad's room and found that he had stopped breathing.  She gave him a hug and a kiss; he took one more big breath, and then he passed away.  

Dad was 91 and lived a full life.  He graduated from a small Catholic high school in Cedar Rapids and then volunteered for the Marine Corps during the Korean War, receiving a purple heart during two tours of heavy combat.  Dad's time in the Marines had a profound impact.  A disinterested, undisciplined student in high school, he found discipline and confidence as a Marine.

After discharge, he started college, completing his bachelor's and master's degree at the University of Iowa.  He then obtained his PhD from Stanford University.  

From there, Dad became the first principal at a new Madison, Wisconsin high school and stayed there several years before accepting a position as assistant professor at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.  He wrote two textbooks in the area of secondary school administration, eventually becoming a full professor and chairman of his department for many years.  

My mother and father were very close during their long marriage.  At times, he was a difficult parent (Marine Corps strict) but he taught us to work hard and to never quit. 

Dad also taught us a love for travel.  We took family vacations across the country and even to Mexico and Hawaii.  He was very frugal in many other ways, but travel and education were things that he was willing to spend on. 

Losing my father and my son over a one month period has been one of the most difficult periods of my life--even though both events were somewhat predictable.  There will be two celebrations of life this month, and then it will be time to move forward with the memories intact.  Thankfully, the anxiety and stress have already started to dissipate. 

Can’t Get Enough

 I’m back on the Mississippi River. This time, I’m camped at a Corps of Engineers campground just north of Muscatine, Iowa. It’s one of my favorite places to hang out and do absolutely nothing. Well, some people would be bored, but I spend my time reading, walking and watching. 

Julia and her sister took their brother Scott to New Orleans as a 60th birthday present. I’ve been to the Big Easy several times. My grandfather used to say this about places that he didn’t plan to return: “I didn’t leave nothin’ there.” I wouldn’t go quite that far about New Orleans, but I’m content spending some time along the same river—upstream a bit at $13/ night with the Old Geezers’ discount.

Callie is a happy camper. 

Mid-week, this place is quiet. I can see the river out the Scamp’s dinette window, and I have a nice buffer of woods behind me. 

I’ll build a fire tonight at dusk. There’s a cold Pseudo  Sue IPA from Toppling Goliath in the fridge when I’m ready.

Beer in the Barn

Some of the best beer surprises are the ones you find in unexpected places. One of our new Iowa pickleball friends recommended that we try out a bar in St. Donatus for a good burger with homemade French fries. I asked about the beer, and the response was along the lines of “yes, they have beer.”

St. Donatus, population 120, is a very small town founded by a Luxembourg early settler. If you blink at highway speeds, you could easily miss it.

In doing some navigational research, I saw a listing for “Beer in the Barn” across the street from said bar and tucked behind an old Inn. As it turned out,  the burgers and fries at the bar were just okay, but Beer in the Barn was a stunning find. 

The pictures we took don’t do it justice. The stone barn is supposedly the oldest standing barn in Iowa. 

We asked the chief bartender/owner to tell us his story. In doing so, we learned that his wife is the brewmaster. We later learned from her that one of her best friends lives in Lodi. That Lodi woman is one of Julia’s friends and was Justin’s long-time piano teacher. Small world!

Julia’s hazy IPA was delicious. My milk stout was very good. There will be live music on Sunday afternoon. We plan to be back.

Along the River

Yesterday would have been Justin’s 24th birthday. I haven’t been sleeping well, and there are so many memories in the house. This morning, we headed to Iowa and set up camp a few steps from the shore of the Mississippi River. 

The campground is quiet mid-week, and it was a perfect day in the Upper Midwest: temperatures in the mid 70’s. A haze from the Canadian wildfires masked an otherwise sunny day. 

We’ve already seen our first barge. 

There is something very peaceful about sitting in a camp chair and watching the river flow by. 

May Update

After battling a failed respiratory system for four months in the hospital, my 23-year-old son, Justin, died last night.  Last week, he was driving the hospital bean-counters and back-office people crazy by having way too much fun in the hospital.  He was playing video games, watching sports and crime shows on tv, and ordering Uber Eats.  Then Saturday afternoon, he went code blue with rapid changes in oxygen level, heart rate and blood pressure.  

With modern medicine, drugs and technology, hospital staff stabilized his numbers, but Justin became quite uncomfortable and agitated.  His last words were, "Will it ever end?"   Allie flew home on Sunday night, and her presence in the hospital room on Monday brought a final, brief smile to Justin's lips.  He passed later that night.  

I'm proud of my son for his lifetime willingness to fight for a life that was in many ways fuller than most able-bodied people.  In return, he made our lives richer and fuller.  

After a time for grieving the loss of Justin and also celebrating his life, I will be back, hopefully, with more adventures of my own to document in this blog.  Life is short, and tomorrow is not guaranteed. 

April Update

 

It's been awhile since I've posted.  Justin's situation is hard to write about, but I know there are people who want to know what's going on with Justin, my son.  In truth, he is getting sicker and weaker.  For awhile,he made great progress, talking, eating, and getting back into his power wheelchair.  

Then he started getting weaker.  His left lung became covered with secretions, and he needed surgery to scrape things out. Then a CT scan revealed more new spine fractures (total of 7).  After that, he just hasn't been able to get over the hump.  This week, Justin decided to discontinue the weaning from the ventilator.  He is on full breath support and can no longer use the voice valve to talk without dangerous oxygen drops.  Pain medication has been significantly increased to help him deal with the pain.

It's a tough thing for a 23-year-old to confront one's mortality.  We will continue this journey with Justin to the end to the best of our abilities.  We don't know how much time is left, but we are glad to have time to say the things that need saying.  

The only travel that I will be doing in the foreseeable future is to visit my Mom and Dad in Iowa, where my father is in hospice.  He has his own journey.  Due to strokes, both his body and mind have betrayed him.  But he is over 90 years old and lived a full life.  He is a tough ex-Marine and will not go silently into the night.  

I will update again when something changes.  For now, it's daily visits to  Justin's hospital.  Julia and I alternate most days to give each other breaks.  Justin and I pass the time reliving our common experiences and watching shows on tv together.  He expects me to read his lips.  I expect him to use his voice app.  Yeah, we still clash a bit.  Sometimes he gets back at me by forcing me to watch women's soccer.  It's all good--at least as good as it can be under the circumstances.