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Not really SAD, but

A lot of people are affected with Seasonal Affective Disorder in Wisconsin.  We have many, many days without sun during the winter months.  This year, we've had a string of days with heavy fog and unseasonably warm temperatures in the 30's and 40's.   Personally, I can't claim that I've ever really felt the effects of SAD, but this year, knowing that we are likely moving west later next year, I've been very impatient and annoyed with Wisconsin weather.   Sun trying to fight through the clouds It hasn't helped that my daily routine involves looking at the weather in Fort Collins and Tucson.  Their weather has been spectacularly sunny and more pleasant this time of year.   So, I haven't been blogging much because not much is going on. I've substituted indoor pickleball for hiking. The trails have been muddy and not much fun. For Christmas, we had my mother, Julia's brother and Allie here.  I went and retrieved my mother from Cedar Rapids a...
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April Update

 

It's been awhile since I've posted.  Justin's situation is hard to write about, but I know there are people who want to know what's going on with Justin, my son.  In truth, he is getting sicker and weaker.  For awhile,he made great progress, talking, eating, and getting back into his power wheelchair.  

Then he started getting weaker.  His left lung became covered with secretions, and he needed surgery to scrape things out. Then a CT scan revealed more new spine fractures (total of 7).  After that, he just hasn't been able to get over the hump.  This week, Justin decided to discontinue the weaning from the ventilator.  He is on full breath support and can no longer use the voice valve to talk without dangerous oxygen drops.  Pain medication has been significantly increased to help him deal with the pain.

It's a tough thing for a 23-year-old to confront one's mortality.  We will continue this journey with Justin to the end to the best of our abilities.  We don't know how much time is left, but we are glad to have time to say the things that need saying.  

The only travel that I will be doing in the foreseeable future is to visit my Mom and Dad in Iowa, where my father is in hospice.  He has his own journey.  Due to strokes, both his body and mind have betrayed him.  But he is over 90 years old and lived a full life.  He is a tough ex-Marine and will not go silently into the night.  

I will update again when something changes.  For now, it's daily visits to  Justin's hospital.  Julia and I alternate most days to give each other breaks.  Justin and I pass the time reliving our common experiences and watching shows on tv together.  He expects me to read his lips.  I expect him to use his voice app.  Yeah, we still clash a bit.  Sometimes he gets back at me by forcing me to watch women's soccer.  It's all good--at least as good as it can be under the circumstances. 


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MFH said…
John and Julia,

It's been nearly three weeks since you posted this. I often wait to comment as it takes me awhile to absorb. Now, even after this long, I still cannot read this without starting to cry.

I puzzle over my reaction as I'm aware that hundreds of thousands die each day....are dying each minute. Though we only know each other through our correspondence, it has affected me deeply.

I cannot imagine how this must be for all of you. I try and relate through my own experience wherein, over the past four years, I thought every day could be my last. But l can't imagine losing a child.

I haven't forgotten Allie. I wonder how she's doing? Somehow, the loss of my sister and brother didn't feel as sad as watching my daughter drive away the last time I saw her.

My heart goes out to you.

May 5, 2024 at 8:35 PM
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