In retrospect, the last year was a tough one without a lot of joy in our lives. Besides adjusting to life without Justin and my dad, the process of de-accumulating and selling the house was an emotional one. Now that we are back in the Scamp, we can literally feel all of that stress begin to melt away.
We are not traveling yet. We have some family stuff to take care of on both sides of our families. And once that’s done, we may still stay at our current spot, enjoying the Wisconsin summer. Eventually, I think, we will find a house in the Tucson area and move by fall. But with temperatures already nearing 100 in southern Arizona, there doesn’t seem to be any particular urgency.
So we will spend our days along the Wisconsin River, taking long walks with Callie and hanging out with friends. We live in interesting times and control very little on the national or global scale. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. And everything tastes better on a tortilla.
6 comments:
Your picture epitomizes the pleasures. Even Callie looks content.
Allow me to encourage you to share -- betwixt yourselves -- the feelings. I've asked the nurses advice and despite not understanding why, they emphasize that "revisiting" some of the harder times can be helpful.
I know there are those who hold the opinion that re-experiencing grief and loss is pointless, but I am seeing where looking back can deepen awareness of our caring, whether for a relationship or place.
It's hard when in the throes of the moment. And it is now (later) that we have the time to savor how much it has meant.
A lovely summer ahead.
A country adventure!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eQMA_noRYQ
Wow! A lot of stuff going on. Sorry to hear about Justin and your Dad. Losing a parrent is hard enough. I can't imagine how hard it is to lose your child.
MFH: Good advice, even though I'll have trouble following it. I suffer from "keeping everything bottled up inside" syndrome. Julia does not so maybe I'll benefit through osmosis.
Bill: I forgot about that Canned Heat song, but really enjoyed listening to it.
Greg: With both Justin and my Dad, the end took a long time and was predictable. With Justin, there was a real sense of frustration and sense of injustice. He did live life as fully as he could. With my Dad, there was a sense of relief after a long life that he lived on his own terms. We weren't particularly close, but there was a certain level of respect for what he accomplished.
Going thru your Blog Archives I am catching up on your Journey and the next level of it. Losing a Parent is very hard, Losing a Child I cannot even Imagine. We Lost an Infant Great-Granddaughter to COVID and that was tough enuf even tho' we'd never seen her or the Granddaughter who is her Mom, they live in Mexico. The Big Downsize is always hard, we're still doing it, after 3 Moves in about 12 Years it was just a LOT. We had a Historic Home that should have been our Forever Retirement Location, LOVED it so much, Paid Off, but we became Custodial Grandparents of Two of our Grandkids to Raise since Birth. Eventually many Years later Kinship Placement Laws changed and I was forced to Adopt them or have them put into The System. He was 15 and she was 10 by then so that wasn't happening and they wouldn't approve the Home they'd always lived in since Birth, for the Adoption, it was over 100 Years Old and had Lead Paint. *Eye Roll* We reluctantly Sold it and the Luxury Housing Market had crashed so I bought a Million Dollar Listing for $370,000, it was a ridiculous sized McManse, but greased the Adoption thru. *Bigger Eye Roll* It was clearly too much House for me to maintain without Staff, I'm a full time Caregiver of my Spouse and raising Grandkids, so after the Boy was Raised to Adulthood, Sold it, and bought the Mini Farm. Thinking, after I get the Girl Raised, it would just be the Two of us and the Kids can all inherit a small Farm. Well, they all moved back Home, Adult Kids and the Two Adult Grandkids we Raised, so now we're a 3 Generation Household and as an Old Hippie, I must say, I don't mind it.
Yeah, it was a tough time. Justin was in ICU for several months before passing from the terminal phase of Duchenne's muscular dystrophy. I was his primary caregiver. He was a lot of work but taught us so much. Your caregiving journey continues, and I am empathetic to the struggles and the fulfillment.
Post a Comment