And The Other Shoe Drops

 

Muscatine, Iowa is an old river town along the Mississippi, settled by white folks in 1837.  Iowa State University operated an experimental farm here, and the area is widely known for producing some of the most delicious watermelons and cantaloupes in the country.

Last Sunday afternoon, towards the end of my stay at Shady Creek COE (just north of Muscatine), I received a text from my mother, indicating that my father's three month journey in hospice was close to the end.  I hitched up on Monday morning and towed the Scamp ninety minutes to a county park campground on the eastern edge of Cedar Rapids, Iowa.  

Indeed, my dad was no longer responsive, and the hospice nurse told us that he could pass away at any time.  We sat with him for the rest of the morning before taking a break for lunch.  I then returned to the Scamp to let Callie out for a short walk.  During that time period, Mom went back to my Dad's room and found that he had stopped breathing.  She gave him a hug and a kiss; he took one more big breath, and then he passed away.  

Dad was 91 and lived a full life.  He graduated from a small Catholic high school in Cedar Rapids and then volunteered for the Marine Corps during the Korean War, receiving a purple heart during two tours of heavy combat.  Dad's time in the Marines had a profound impact.  A disinterested, undisciplined student in high school, he found discipline and confidence as a Marine.

After discharge, he started college, completing his bachelor's and master's degree at the University of Iowa.  He then obtained his PhD from Stanford University.  

From there, Dad became the first principal at a new Madison, Wisconsin high school and stayed there several years before accepting a position as assistant professor at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.  He wrote two textbooks in the area of secondary school administration, eventually becoming a full professor and chairman of his department for many years.  

My mother and father were very close during their long marriage.  At times, he was a difficult parent (Marine Corps strict) but he taught us to work hard and to never quit. 

Dad also taught us a love for travel.  We took family vacations across the country and even to Mexico and Hawaii.  He was very frugal in many other ways, but travel and education were things that he was willing to spend on. 

Losing my father and my son over a one month period has been one of the most difficult periods of my life--even though both events were somewhat predictable.  There will be two celebrations of life this month, and then it will be time to move forward with the memories intact.  Thankfully, the anxiety and stress have already started to dissipate. 

Can’t Get Enough

 I’m back on the Mississippi River. This time, I’m camped at a Corps of Engineers campground just north of Muscatine, Iowa. It’s one of my favorite places to hang out and do absolutely nothing. Well, some people would be bored, but I spend my time reading, walking and watching. 

Julia and her sister took their brother Scott to New Orleans as a 60th birthday present. I’ve been to the Big Easy several times. My grandfather used to say this about places that he didn’t plan to return: “I didn’t leave nothin’ there.” I wouldn’t go quite that far about New Orleans, but I’m content spending some time along the same river—upstream a bit at $13/ night with the Old Geezers’ discount.

Callie is a happy camper. 

Mid-week, this place is quiet. I can see the river out the Scamp’s dinette window, and I have a nice buffer of woods behind me. 

I’ll build a fire tonight at dusk. There’s a cold Pseudo  Sue IPA from Toppling Goliath in the fridge when I’m ready.

Beer in the Barn

Some of the best beer surprises are the ones you find in unexpected places. One of our new Iowa pickleball friends recommended that we try out a bar in St. Donatus for a good burger with homemade French fries. I asked about the beer, and the response was along the lines of “yes, they have beer.”

St. Donatus, population 120, is a very small town founded by a Luxembourg early settler. If you blink at highway speeds, you could easily miss it.

In doing some navigational research, I saw a listing for “Beer in the Barn” across the street from said bar and tucked behind an old Inn. As it turned out,  the burgers and fries at the bar were just okay, but Beer in the Barn was a stunning find. 

The pictures we took don’t do it justice. The stone barn is supposedly the oldest standing barn in Iowa. 

We asked the chief bartender/owner to tell us his story. In doing so, we learned that his wife is the brewmaster. We later learned from her that one of her best friends lives in Lodi. That Lodi woman is one of Julia’s friends and was Justin’s long-time piano teacher. Small world!

Julia’s hazy IPA was delicious. My milk stout was very good. There will be live music on Sunday afternoon. We plan to be back.

Along the River

Yesterday would have been Justin’s 24th birthday. I haven’t been sleeping well, and there are so many memories in the house. This morning, we headed to Iowa and set up camp a few steps from the shore of the Mississippi River. 

The campground is quiet mid-week, and it was a perfect day in the Upper Midwest: temperatures in the mid 70’s. A haze from the Canadian wildfires masked an otherwise sunny day. 

We’ve already seen our first barge. 

There is something very peaceful about sitting in a camp chair and watching the river flow by. 

May Update

After battling a failed respiratory system for four months in the hospital, my 23-year-old son, Justin, died last night.  Last week, he was driving the hospital bean-counters and back-office people crazy by having way too much fun in the hospital.  He was playing video games, watching sports and crime shows on tv, and ordering Uber Eats.  Then Saturday afternoon, he went code blue with rapid changes in oxygen level, heart rate and blood pressure.  

With modern medicine, drugs and technology, hospital staff stabilized his numbers, but Justin became quite uncomfortable and agitated.  His last words were, "Will it ever end?"   Allie flew home on Sunday night, and her presence in the hospital room on Monday brought a final, brief smile to Justin's lips.  He passed later that night.  

I'm proud of my son for his lifetime willingness to fight for a life that was in many ways fuller than most able-bodied people.  In return, he made our lives richer and fuller.  

After a time for grieving the loss of Justin and also celebrating his life, I will be back, hopefully, with more adventures of my own to document in this blog.  Life is short, and tomorrow is not guaranteed. 

April Update

 

It's been awhile since I've posted.  Justin's situation is hard to write about, but I know there are people who want to know what's going on with Justin, my son.  In truth, he is getting sicker and weaker.  For awhile,he made great progress, talking, eating, and getting back into his power wheelchair.  

Then he started getting weaker.  His left lung became covered with secretions, and he needed surgery to scrape things out. Then a CT scan revealed more new spine fractures (total of 7).  After that, he just hasn't been able to get over the hump.  This week, Justin decided to discontinue the weaning from the ventilator.  He is on full breath support and can no longer use the voice valve to talk without dangerous oxygen drops.  Pain medication has been significantly increased to help him deal with the pain.

It's a tough thing for a 23-year-old to confront one's mortality.  We will continue this journey with Justin to the end to the best of our abilities.  We don't know how much time is left, but we are glad to have time to say the things that need saying.  

The only travel that I will be doing in the foreseeable future is to visit my Mom and Dad in Iowa, where my father is in hospice.  He has his own journey.  Due to strokes, both his body and mind have betrayed him.  But he is over 90 years old and lived a full life.  He is a tough ex-Marine and will not go silently into the night.  

I will update again when something changes.  For now, it's daily visits to  Justin's hospital.  Julia and I alternate most days to give each other breaks.  Justin and I pass the time reliving our common experiences and watching shows on tv together.  He expects me to read his lips.  I expect him to use his voice app.  Yeah, we still clash a bit.  Sometimes he gets back at me by forcing me to watch women's soccer.  It's all good--at least as good as it can be under the circumstances.